13-05-2011, 09:16
What you have written is a nice song , there is talent here and you manage to produce something of consequence ....................The steam of conscientiousness idea is interesting.
There are weakness too......I feel the lyric is fine and tells the story well but there are one or two places that need a re think............there are flow problems in places , the lyrics don't scan and fit to the pattern of the music. In my opinion this song needs to show some attitude in places and it does not. The guitar playing is competent but does not grab me ...it sounds a bit limited and want opening up with a few flourishes and a change or two more in volume to project the feeling more.
There are weakness too......I feel the lyric is fine and tells the story well but there are one or two places that need a re think............there are flow problems in places , the lyrics don't scan and fit to the pattern of the music. In my opinion this song needs to show some attitude in places and it does not. The guitar playing is competent but does not grab me ...it sounds a bit limited and want opening up with a few flourishes and a change or two more in volume to project the feeling more.
Nice to be able to go back to trust and friendship!!!!!!!!!
It's a mixed up sensation this being alive
Oh! it wears a man down into the ground
It's the strangest elation
I can't describe it
Oh it leaves a man weary
It makes a man frown..............................Chris Simpson ( "Mixed Up Sensations" 1975 Martin's Cafe )
It's a mixed up sensation this being alive
Oh! it wears a man down into the ground
It's the strangest elation
I can't describe it
Oh it leaves a man weary
It makes a man frown..............................Chris Simpson ( "Mixed Up Sensations" 1975 Martin's Cafe )